Human beings are tribal.
We need to feel a part of something. To belong. And to feel we are making a contribution to the collective. I think this is especially important for women (there’s even a hormone driver here - oxytocin levels increase with cortisol). We are wired for connection.
I think women are the answer (although, you should know that I often think women are the answer, and if not women, then trees are the answer). Nothing against men. But male privilege. Not so great.
On the evidence of the last couple of weeks, I specifically think black women, women of colour and mothers of mixed race children are the answer.
Because look at how are they showing up and contributing. Not just for themselves and their neighbours and for their children but for future generations.
Why is this important to my health as a white woman? As a mother of white children?
When I work with clients one to one or on my group retreats I get them to walk through a health assessment. This is an assessment developed by Jessica Drummond from the Integrative Women’s Health Institute in the US.
Two important parts of the questionnaire are contribution and connection.
And standing as part of this positive movement is belonging to something important. Admitting and acknowledging and working on the disconnect will make us more whole and more connected.
More connected is healthier
Systemic racism is a political and societal structure built on disconnection. On us vs them.
It doesn’t work. It divides. It leads to discord. It leads to armouring up (whether in the heavily armed police forces in the US or in the lack of willingness to accept and listen to others’ opinions).
We all need to be part of this. To accept our role. To make a contribution. To feel more connected to our fellow human beings regardless of race. To all be on the same side. To find compassion.
And to allow ourselves to get it wrong and hold our hands up to learning more.
I am pretty afraid of getting it wrong at the moment. But saying nothing, learning nothing, feels bad for my health.
So, because it’s me, I have to bring it back to trees.
We want a beautiful world to live in.
We want our world to flourish and dance like the branches of a tree. So we need to nourish its roots, and keep the trunk resilient and strong.
And that nourishment comes from the whole environment of the tree. From the nutrients in the soil, the networks of fungus that trade energy and nutrition, from the leaves of the previous seasons feeding back into the soil. From the worms, beetles and bugs that convert organic matter into energy to the micro organisms in the soil.
It all needs to work together. All elements need to be healthy for the tree to flourish.
Layers of history broken down and converted into good nutrition. Layers of historic systemic racism broken down to make a more connected world.
Our beautiful world needs a beautiful network. All elements contributing to the whole.
Let’s make it beautiful by absorbing the information we can, taking action, breaking down barriers and feeding our souls and community with our unlearning and our new ways of being.
Better connections makes a better whole.
Better whole equals better health.
On my reading list:
How to be Anti Racist by Ibram X Kendi
White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo
To read with the kids see this list: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/02/parenting/kids-books-racism-protest.html